Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Laissez les bullsh*t rouler or Why I Am Writing Porn for Spiders*

Inspiration strikes at random for me, so at 11 pm my ability to roll out bullshit finally kicked in.  Right now Amanda and I have landed a well paying gig writing SEO articles.  We are emailed a list of topics and the necessary word count and in return we get $4/500, which is considered really high by industry standard.  (Going rate is usually 1.50.  Yea, for liberal arts degrees.  We can bullshit with the best!)

I've been struggling for the past 5 days with believing in myself.  On some levels its understandable and I have given myself a little leeway, but enough is enough!  It's been over 8 years since I wrote something even remotely connected with learning and so I've been agonizing over every word and how my audience might perceive what I've written.  But here's the thing.  I'm not writing on Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Social Contract as a fan to the flames of the French Revolt.  I'm writing about spiders.

Yes spiders, which I've mentioned before I HATE!  The most challenging thing I've had to write about was a description of how the male Black Widow spider can only reproduce after he first spins a web of his semen, cover his spider parts with said stuff, and go off to bone the female Black Widow and untimely get eaten.  I laughed for so long and tried to come up with a delicate way of explain this natural, nature intending continuance of the life cycle, but somehow I felt like I was writing arachnid porn. 

So before you leave this site a little more knowledgeable about the Black Widow spider and feeling a bit dirty, go check out stereomood.com.  Its a free on-line musical playlist of songs you've never heard before which are sorted by types of moods you might be in.  So far I'm finding that I like the bohemian and the studying mood lists.  

*Aly, thanks for trying to teach me French.  I'll never understand how you can speak a language that sounds like a drunk gargling a handful of marbles, but it still provides me with an endless source of amusement. Bet you never thought I'd link you French lessons with spiders did you?