Haiku You Too or Random Stuff That I Think Of

I'm picking up writing for Associated Content again.  I got assigned a haiku the other day, which is the only piece of poetry that I can write.  The 5,7,5 rule rocks. I'll be haikuing everyday for them.  At 1 centavo per 100 clicks I should be making 2 cents everyday! 
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Last week after I stopped crying, pulled my head out of the pillows, and got back to work, the first thing I decided to do was to get back to work.  Because nothing more says "I should tackle the 3 weeks of work I left unattended while I dealt with dead grandmother stuff," then re-arraigning the furniture in three rooms.  If I could just remember that I decided this impromptu reorganization at night.  So far my midnight trips to the loo have involved several bruises and a near encounter with a door frame.  But I digress.
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My sarcastic mouth is going to be biting me in the butt soon.  The Kiddo heads of the Kindergarten next month and I can just imagine the phone calls I'll be getting:
"Ms. Pollock, when I asked your son to stop picking his nose, he informed me he was digging for gold."*
"Ms. Pollock, when we go on field trips, please teach your son not to yell at other drivers for driving like morons."
"Your son told another student, 'I might be short, but you are ugly.' This is not an appropriate response towards bullying."
"At Wednesday Mass, when the Priest says 'The Mass has ended," he yelled "Yes!" and attempted to fist bump the child next to him.  This is not tolerable."*

(I know these things are gonna happen, because he's already said this at home.)*
I can't wait for school to start! 

Things I Don't Understand

---  How vacant-faced Casey Anthony wasn't found guilty of at least child neglect or manslaughter?  With my <very limited> knowledge of the law (2 paralegal courses thank you very much!) I understand that in criminal cases the burden of proof is on the prosecution proving their case beyond a shadow of a doubt, but SERIOUSLY, how did the jurors find her innocent of those charges? 

----How female journalist Mac McClelland found violent sex to be the cure to her PTSD?  As an assault SURVIVOR I am all for women taking back control of their lives whether it be facing their attacker in a court, writing or talking openly about their experience without shame, learning self-defense moves, or working with an organization that promotes healing such as the Joyful Heart Foundation.  (Thank you Mariska Hargitay!) 
Several years ago I struggled often with flashbacks during intimate moments with an ex.  It was so hard on the both of us.  Rather than enjoying the expression of our love, I would curl up in a ball crying.  The moment would be lost, he would be angry, and I would usually get drunk.  I have no desire to ever put myself in a situation where I felt like I was under attack again.  Now it took me 7 years and three broken knuckles to get myself the help I needed, so I don't want to discourage this woman from healing, I just have no idea how to support this method of therapy.

----Why my grandmother had to die.

I don't have too much more right now.  I've been out of my groove for a while. 

My Grandmother, My Friend

My Gonga died last week.  I've had so much to do and process these past two weeks.  I am still processing it, but putting this slideshow together for her funeral service was comforting. 

Crossroads or Crosshairs?

Most of you are aware that I am/have been working as a freelance writer for the past few months and while things having been going well, and I have made some contacts and gotten more exposure, the finances are not quiet balancing up yet.  Which I've tried not to worry about.  Till about 2 weeks ago.

My business partner whose entire mantra was "I hate working for the man, I'm gonna work for myself" called me soooooo excited and announced that she had gotten a full time job----working for someone else.  Ok????  How am I supposed to feel about this?  On one hand, "Yea for you!  Go chase that paycheck playing by someone's rules.  I hope you bring in the big bucks."  On the other hand, "Way to go, thanks for honoring the commitment we made to this business partnership!"


So after I freaked out and got depressed for several days, I rallied, came up with a new game plan, and pressed on.  One of the things I did was apply for a small business loan to have some working capital, but b/c my debt (a lot) to income (not enough) ratio is too high I got turned down.  Not much of a huge shock there.

But now I found out that benefits for Jeremiah just got cut by $350 to $16.  Go figure.  Nothing has changed, except the month.  (I hate being a govt sponge right now, but I'm doing all I can to remedy it.)  The woman on the phone who I spoke with/cried to said she didn't understand the rules, but that's the way it was. 

If things don't change by the end of August, I'll probably have to move, but I'm not sure where to go.  My parents don't have the room, so I'll probably have to pull Jeremiah from the private school a church member has offered to pay for and move down to Tampa with my grandmother. 

I'm really upset right now, and could use all the prayers that you can spare.  I am certain that my calling is to be a writer, but I'm really needing God and some serious money to come through for me.

This certainly makes interesting fodder for the rest of my life story.  Maybe I'll be the next JK Rowling minus the retarded wizardry.  Sorry JK, never could get into that shit.

But at least I have this to make me laugh!

Laissez les bullsh*t rouler or Why I Am Writing Porn for Spiders*

Inspiration strikes at random for me, so at 11 pm my ability to roll out bullshit finally kicked in.  Right now Amanda and I have landed a well paying gig writing SEO articles.  We are emailed a list of topics and the necessary word count and in return we get $4/500, which is considered really high by industry standard.  (Going rate is usually 1.50.  Yea, for liberal arts degrees.  We can bullshit with the best!)

I've been struggling for the past 5 days with believing in myself.  On some levels its understandable and I have given myself a little leeway, but enough is enough!  It's been over 8 years since I wrote something even remotely connected with learning and so I've been agonizing over every word and how my audience might perceive what I've written.  But here's the thing.  I'm not writing on Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Social Contract as a fan to the flames of the French Revolt.  I'm writing about spiders.

Yes spiders, which I've mentioned before I HATE!  The most challenging thing I've had to write about was a description of how the male Black Widow spider can only reproduce after he first spins a web of his semen, cover his spider parts with said stuff, and go off to bone the female Black Widow and untimely get eaten.  I laughed for so long and tried to come up with a delicate way of explain this natural, nature intending continuance of the life cycle, but somehow I felt like I was writing arachnid porn. 

So before you leave this site a little more knowledgeable about the Black Widow spider and feeling a bit dirty, go check out stereomood.com.  Its a free on-line musical playlist of songs you've never heard before which are sorted by types of moods you might be in.  So far I'm finding that I like the bohemian and the studying mood lists.  

*Aly, thanks for trying to teach me French.  I'll never understand how you can speak a language that sounds like a drunk gargling a handful of marbles, but it still provides me with an endless source of amusement. Bet you never thought I'd link you French lessons with spiders did you?