Monday, June 22, 2015

And So It Begins Again. . .Come October

Having a nervous breakdown was so 2014.

Long story short. My kid went away for 3 months last summer, I devoted a lot of time and energy into fixing some of my broken bits. It went harder than I expected, but I emerged out on top. In the end, he came back a week after I last wrote here, I got on with life.

Last week I reached a huge milestone in therapy. I signed off on one part of my treatment plan. For those uninitiated to the awesomness of therapy when you first start up, you and your therapist discuss what sort of problems you are aware that you are dealing with, how they impact your daily living, and you put together an action plan about how to best deal with this issues.
It was 2 years in the making, but I am fucking proud of myself. So much of the bullshit and inner turmoil that decimated my self-worth has been pounded away. I feel like throwing my hands in the air and saying "Behold, all of the fucks I no longer give!"

With that in mind, as my son makes his annual summer trek down to FL to visit my parents and siblings, I've got a list of accomplishments to work on. Most notably is finishing my new novel. I had always hoped and expected my Southern Fairytale novel to be out first, but I've struggled with it and re-shelved it so many times. It's gonna get out there someday, but I was plagued with so much doubt and hatred at time when I wrote that it's painful. 

About a month ago I started writing some silly fanfic as an exercise in creative writing, yet the writing had a mind of it's own, took a left-hand turn into the realm of fantasy and has been pouring out of my brain non-stop. 

With almost 8K words, my goal is to hit 60K by Sept 30. That's about 500/day which I can definitely do. So I've got that to work on while my son is running around in the hot FL sun. And once I complete my novel, I get to move on to the next scary ass step in my life. Today my therapist agreed with me that I've made such significant, positive progress in my development, that I can try out something I haven't done in long time. 8 years to be exact. 

A date. 

Cthulhu is my co-pilot.
I'm going to try my hand at dating again, hopefully with less disastrous results. Have the rules changed much since 2008?