Thursday, January 5, 2012

Nothing. No Thing.

I've got nothing right now. 

My insecurities are popping up again.  I have a fairly easy assignment that would take all of two hours, if that.  I'm feeling to paralyzed to do it.  I need the $100, but I can't put the words together that I need to write an SEO article about an SEO company that wants to sell you their SEO algorithms.  Ughhhh. . . .Even typing that makes me want to shoot myself. 

I'm totally drained.  I've spent the past 30 days nursing my son through a nasty virus which turned into a sinus infection.  I was sick for a good while during his bout and haven't healed properly.  I've been wheezing today which makes me concerned.  Now that he has returned to school, just for today and tomorrow, I want to collapse.  First thing I did after dropping him off at school was to crawl into bed until noon. 

Because that's what winners do! 

I'm feeling lonely.  And a bit jealous too.  And really insecure about writing what is on my mind.  I wish I had the courage to let it all come out, much like The Bloggess did the other night.  Her piece on depression and self-harm was so moving, I would have cried if I could have, but I'm too dead inside right now.