Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Open Mouth, Insert Pointy Stiletto Encased Foot

I've made a few dumb mistakes in my life.  Some I can laugh about (my early 90's jerry-curl perm), some still make me cringe (drunk dialing), and some were flat out DUMB (note to self, don't EVER again try to go UP a down-moving escalator while in a little black dress and chunky black heels.  It took two weeks for the black eye and bruising to heal).

I'm fortune that I'm not a celebrity.  (Sure, I'd love the monetary part of the package, especially the way the economy is in the crapper, but other than that, no thank you!)
--None of my bad hair week/mismatched wardrobe malfunction/excessive use of the word F#*k will never make it to newsstands across the country.
--I have no sex tapes on the Internet and no wet tee shirt videos for Girls Gone Wild.
--I've never been recorded uttering racist or tactless jokes into my live microphone at a big conference.

In short, I'm safe in saying that if anyone wants to remind me of my dumb mistakes, there is always a chance that I can argue Perry Mason style that the event never took place or that I will even remember it.  (Maybe I should start taking Ginkoba.  Bad memories run in the family.)

So while I do feel some pity for Miss Philippines' first mistake for she has undoubtedly become the most YouTube'd woman this month, I think that her arrogant answer is product of a culture that puts excessive importance on feminine perfection.  Pre-teen girls play with anorexic Barbies/Bratz Dolls, movie stars that had breakthrough roles as the 'chubby girl' in the movie are whittled down to size six by the time the red carpet is rolled out, and TV fitness instructors (yes, you Jillian-I-won't-ruin-my-body-with-pregnancy-Michaels) will have you believe that an ounce of flab is as disgusting as kicking a puppy.

Why do we live in a society where women are conditioned to despise themselves for being less than flawless?  Why are we expected to maintain the facade of being put together in every aspect of our lives when we are crying, dying, rotting inside?  Just look at the tabloids next time you are in line at the grocery store.  In one magazine you will find articles geared to educating women on "How to Dress for Success", "How to Decorate like Martha", "Fifty Naughty Positions", "Exercise while at Work", and "Learn to Embrace Yourself".  It's exhausting just reading those titles, much less than worrying that we women will be considered less than for failing to uphold the printed directions.

It's getting close to midnight and my rant has wondered around quiet a bit tonight.  I leave you with this tidbit that never ceases to amaze me.  Even girl and boy and grown man and woman need to watch this: Evolution