Friday, August 20, 2010

You are what you eat

I'd like to pretend that I eat healthy fare on a routine basis, but more often than not I find myself sneaking my son's Pop-Tarts for breakfast or inhaling a pint of Ben and Jerry's One Sweet Whirled late at night.  Lately I've been day-dreaming of delicious vegetables sitting along side of grilled chicken, but that's where my fantasy ends.  Several bags of frozen foods are quietly collecting freezer burn as I snatch french fries from my son's two dollar Tuesday Happy Meal.

And I do worry about the junk that I've been putting in my stomach and consequently my kid.  Garbage in, garbage out was the old computer terms I heard as a child plunking away on DOS-based programs.  Is the chicken my son is eating pumped full of antibiotics?  Are there hormones in his milk?  If so, are these things contributing factors to children hitting puberty at an earlier age?  Should I buy organic or is organic a hype?  Is the FDA doing too much regulations into farm life and would prices drop if farmers were forced to inject their animals to meet market qauility standards?

But then I came across this article today: Boar-ish Behaviors
Well, damn!  While I'm worried about my son turning into a hormone raging teenager far ahead of his time, parents living in the fallout zone of Chernobyl twenty-four years later are having to worry that the boar-chops they'll be serving up for Sunday dinner will be Roast of Day-Glo Piggy.

How fun do you think those father/son hunting trips turn out? 
BLAM!  BLAM!
"Nice shot son!  But before we start picking out complementary spices for the apple strudel (because after all, these are German boars), we need to get the Geiger counter out.  I found one of Craigslist for next to nothing."
Mom and Pop worry about kiddo growing a third eye like Blinky the fish of Simpson's fame or hulking out like Bruce Banner.

So maybe next time I feel guilty about eating my non-free-range chicken eggs with antibiotic laden bacon and a glass of pasteurized milk, I'll think of glow-in-the-dark boars, and wash the guilt away with the last bite.