Friday, September 10, 2010

Trash Talking With Big Virginia Brother

I'm elated because I'll be up in Virginia in two weeks.  True, I'm going up to be a pack mule/indentured servant/cook/baby-sitter/comic relief for a dear friend who is moving further from the Beltway, and seeing as I'm a veteran mover (6 during childhood, 4 dorms in 4 years, 6 after college, and 3 since my return to FL), AND my current job status allows plenty of freedom (read: unemployed), I'm being brought in as a relocation specialist (read: cheaper and funnier than a professional moving company).  My motto: 'I bitch but I get the job done."

I miss the Old Dominion with its four seasons (as compared to Florida's two: Decent and Hot with Humidity high enough to steam vegetables in your armpits), the accessibility of a good non-Starbucks coffee house, the funky hipsters in George Town, the pretentious Beltway insiders, many friends, and the scenic waterfront of Old Town Alexandria.

The things that I don't miss include the Beltway traffic where one accident can cause you a two hour delay between exits (been there), the MS-13 gang (with whom I accidentally triggered a turf war), the high cost of living (900/mo for a one bed room in Ghettodale), and especially the taxes.  

Lo and behold, the government is finding yet ANOTHER way to squeeze water from a stone.  The lovely town of Alexandria is giving out larger recycling bins to customers who have requested them.  The cost is only $9/year.  Not too bad overall, unless you realize that even if you AREN'T using the new bins you STILL have to pay!  Oh and by the way, even if you don't use these tracking-chipped waste receptacles, you'll get mail flyers 'encouraging' you to recycle.  Don't be too surprised when you are fined next year for failing to participate in 'ecological consciousness.'

More to come.  I still have Koran burning idiots on the brain.  But for now I have errands to run, a crawfish and two gold fish that are begging for food, and a kitchen that won't clean itself.