Monday, February 21, 2011

My X Factor

Most of my adult life, I have allowed myself to be stepped on like a mud-caked doormat.  I am my own worst critic, quite quick to condemn myself yet reassure and soothe others in similar situations without a seconds hesitation or condescension.

I am tired of living my life as a self-imposed second class citizen.  I'm tired of thinking that I don't deserve anything better than the scraps left for the dogs.  I'm over making lousy decisions because I don't believe that I am really worthwhile.  Quite frankly, I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!

You know how I discovered my X factor?  It was watching two miserable people fuss at my child today, right in front of my face.  That's. Just. Wrong.

If I don't want my son to grow up battling the same demons I wrestle with, he's going to have a see a better, strong example of his mother.  If I want him to strive for the best, than I need to be a woman that doesn't settle for second or third best any more.