Thursday, March 3, 2011

"Whoever Battles Monsters. . .

should take care not to become a monster too, for if you stare long enough into the Abyss, the Abyss stares also into you." ~Nietzsche

That quote hung above the desk of Robert K. Ressler for many years as he pioneered the art of criminal profiling.  I have been reading his book the past several days with a mixture of awe (that Ressler was on target in every situation), disgust (of the depths of man's depravity), horror (that someone I know could statistically become a victim of a violent crime), and gratitude (that Ressler worked for over 20 years help put men away like Dahmner, Gacy, and Bundy).

Reading on dark subject matters is nothing new to me.  In fact I was into forensics, autopsies, and criminal minds long before they were in vogue.  I don't remember the particular point in my childhood when I read my first Patrica Cornwell novel but I do remember being made aware that life was not all daisies and roses.  One could argue that my early exposure to the dark underbelly of the criminal mind made me prone to the cynicism and sarcasm that I utilize to make light of dark matters or how I tend to see only the worst qualities of my life magnified.  But that's not the point of this post, debating if my books should have been better censured; rather I'm trying to un-darken my mind.

I've been trying to write about this subject matter for two days now, but I can tell that my creativity has been stifled.  Mostly it's due to the knowledge that life, which is already fleeting, can be cut short in such vicious, cruel manners.  Ruminating on those matters and (successfully!) changing my food habits for the past four days has been a bit of a drag. 

I really want a bowl of coco puffs that are calling to me from the pantry, so I'll be heading to bed soon to avoid further temptation.

I think I need a little break from the dark and depressing.  I need something funny to read or watch.  Maybe I should return The Girl Who Played With Fire (child abuse and sex trafficking in Sweden) back to Netflix and request Season 2 of Arrested Development (hilariously dysfunctional family).